Bad Habits
Author: Joumana Haddad
Translated by: Khaled Mattawa
She says that love is like gambling
and she always loses.
That it's a bad habit
she does not dare give up
She says that she's afraid of light
even though the light she's spent was not little,
that she's content with her solitude
and does not care for companionship.
Still she falls from her cloud
whenever rain guides her to her land.
She says she's robust but futile
and gentle despite herself.
Still she feigns roughness
because affection
like love
is a bad habit
and so is silence which she'll never quit.
She says that she's a tired woman
bleeding from her wound
wishing to never heal,
that she's bored
not even good enough for sleep
but she sleeps to remain like a fetus
drowned in the waters of oblivion.
She says that she's a loser by nature,
a loser to deserve all victories.
and that life is a bad habit
which she hopes to maintain
with a little bit of will power
and a great deal of forgetfulness.